Tuesday, January 26, 2010

We All Need Some "ME" Time

Self less or Selfish
We have to learn Selfishness in order to appreciate selflessness.
Learning to love one’s self, understanding what and who one is about is something that cannot be described with mere words.
I believe that in order to be able to commit yourself entirely to a successful relationship
You have to know yourself inside out, what you are about, what your needs are, what your expectations are and how to go about fulfilling them.
Honestly going into a relationship without discovering yourself is hurtful both on you and the other person involved.
Everything we do revolves around our thirst, our search, our yearning for more, more of us, more happiness, more satisfaction.
Thinking back to a lot of my relationships I see that first of all, while in the relationship sometimes I feel like I do not know myself well enough to even let the other person get to know me.
If I feel this way how then am I expected to appreciate learning about the other person?
Which is what relationships are all about.
A line stuck out to me while watching an episode of one of my favorite shows “How I met your mother”
Ted Mosby one of the characters said “in order to have a great relationship, you need three things, you need to be comfortable in your skin, you need to know yourself in and out and be ready to learn about the other person”
And I thought deeply about these words, and felt like I was missing out on a lot of things actually two of the things listed above.

Think about it, first point:
Comfortable in your skin:: If I feel under weight or over weight I will not be confident in myself or my ability, I have been reading this book (Good life) on health and it is amazing what a healthy body does to your confidence, and I am a huge testimony to that. These past three weeks, I took a pact to go to the gym every single day and I did, I worked out for 2hours everyday and my energy level skyrocketed. I became a lot more confident; I felt better in my skin and looked on to greater things I could accomplish with my body. I went out with friends after my work out regime and YES I felt awesome, I did not feel any sort of intimidation from the girl next to me, I felt BEAUTIFUL, because I am definitely comfortable in my skin. I also thought it very interesting when a girl I was hanging out with complained about how fat she is and I can tell you this girl is less than half my size.. When she said that, I laughed in my head and said to myself “wow, that was you some weeks back, but now I feel great” also in the same book, I read on how participating in self-talk is very healthy. Those who know me well know I love self-talk. I always take time to think about my actions and other things and talk to myself (sometimes from an objective POV) I never put myself down, but I always say I can do better and congratulate myself for what I have accomplished. Being comfortable in your skin is very important and you can accomplish this in many ways, getting massages, manicures, pedicures, working out, eating good, taking time to groom yourself etc.

Second Major point:
Knowing yourself.. When a guy wants to get to know you, he asks you about yourself and what do you say when you really think about it and you do not know yourself. You wake up each day and look at yourself like a stranger, you think back on some of your actions and wonder if that is really you. You are like a shifting persona -One with many personalities. The essence of a beautiful relationship is to know who you are, and if you do not know who you are you are sure to settle for less or worse, because you do not even know what it is exactly that you want. I had a nice chat with one of my girlfriends (Ms LB Martins aka LaLa Martins) and we were on the same track. I went to church that morning and felt good, and the thing on my mind was finding the right soul mate, tall dark handsome etc blah blah blah, now seems so dead to me. When I think about it, I have been searching for tall dark and handsome for the longest time and none have remained, they have all come and gone, so that had me thinking especially after hearing the sermon that morning. LB Martins and I came to conclusion that a man who fears God is the best type of man, regardless of his tallness, darkness or handsomeness, because at the end of the day, a man with the fear of God is very capable of loving you. I realized that I have been searching for Mr. Perfect in the wrong crowds and with the wrong people. So I am currently on a soul searching mission to put my priorities in order and know what it is exactly that I am looking for and I desire so I will not settle for less, and my doing that I know I will find NOT the perfect guy, but the “ideal” one.

Getting ready to know the other person:
Honestly this is the last and final stage, the other two can be changed around or done at the same time, but this stage in particular has to remain for the last stage, because to get to know a person you have to know yourself, what it is you have to offer the person, what the person has to offer you, what you see getting out of the relationship and if it should be pursued or not. Getting to know the other person is also dependent on if the other person really is ready to know you and knows himself or herself.

We have to learn selfishness to learn and appreciate selflessness,
Learn to care for you
Learn about you
Love yourself
Love learning about yourself
Reward yourself
And you will have no problem doing this to others since it is already a habit.
Be in a relationship with you first and know what it takes to be with you and then you can figure who you can be with. It is the nicest threesome ever:::: Me, Myself and I, ---> then Me, yourself and Us.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Invisible Lover

How can I love you and you do not even know who I am?
How can I say i love you and you do not even love me back?
How can I say I love you when I see you love someone else?
How dare i love you and still wish you all the best?

I love you day in day out
Holding my heart out in my hands
I love you from dusk till dawn
Praying one day you might see I am the one
I love you willingly and without
hoping one day you will notice me enough to say HI

You hurt me so much so deeply
but it makes me love you even more
You hurt me so much to the point of tears
but it turns me to you more

a sick love I do not understand
A sick love that blows my mind
A sick love that makes me long for your attention
A sick love that makes me want you MORE

How can you break my heart and still not know who I am?
How can you hurt me and still not know how I feel..
I am not crazy..
I am just an invisible woman in love with a fantasy
I am invisible, invisible to your love
I am invisible, invisible to your existence
and now I want to be invisible to your hurt... since i am invisible to your heart.

Invisible Love:: My Self created relationship with YOU, invisible love, touching my heart and soul, invisible love that is invisible to you

~*Words of a Lover:: Tayo Sophie*~

~*Heart to Haiti*~

Haiti...Oh Haiti...

I may not know you as home oh Haiti,
but I know you as "a" home

I may not know you as family oh Haiti,
but I know you as "a" family...

Haiti oh Haiti,
my heart goes out to you,
your grief, you pain, your mourning..

haiti oh haiti we sit here, donating our $5
but we do not know the real help you need.

Haiti oh haiti.. we sit here asking why oh why
while watching CNN but we do not know exactly how you feel..

The Media has classified you as one of the poorest Nations in the world
But you are not poor to me oh Haiti, for you are strong and I have faith in you oh Haiti..

How dare w call you poor when we do not even know the essence of happiness and joy?!
Haiti you are rich, rich in people, rich in help and many more...

I thank God for the help that has come to you and is on the way...
I wish I could be there to help you oh Haiti..

For I know how it feels to be in such a situation.
Haiti oh Haiti, cry not, worry not, this is a trial of strength

Haiti oh Haiti, this is your time to glorify HIM more...

Haiti oh Haiti, you are home to many I hold dear and I still call you friend..
Haiti oh Hait... my heart goes out to you...

Please people donate all you can at


or text yele to 501501
We may not be able to give the exact physical help,
but we can fund those who are able to provide
Please donate... God Bless..xoxo

~*Words of a lover:: Tayo Sophie*~

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Best but worst feeling

To say that you are in love with someone and to let it go just to see them happy is one of the worst and yet best feelings ever.

To be unable to think of what could have been or what might have been and look at what is and how happy it makes them is one of the best but worst feelings ever

To have someone mean so much to you and not know it till they are appreciated more by someone else is one of the best but worst feelings ever

To love a person and know they love you back but just let them be happy with someone who probably loves them more is one of the best and yet worst feelings ever

To know that the person you love is being loved by someone else is one of the worst feelings ever

But to know that the person you love is happy is one of the best feelings ever.

***Love till it hurts, and then it will probably hurt no more…

~* Words of a Lover:: TayoSophie *~