Tuesday, January 26, 2010

We All Need Some "ME" Time

Self less or Selfish
We have to learn Selfishness in order to appreciate selflessness.
Learning to love one’s self, understanding what and who one is about is something that cannot be described with mere words.
I believe that in order to be able to commit yourself entirely to a successful relationship
You have to know yourself inside out, what you are about, what your needs are, what your expectations are and how to go about fulfilling them.
Honestly going into a relationship without discovering yourself is hurtful both on you and the other person involved.
Everything we do revolves around our thirst, our search, our yearning for more, more of us, more happiness, more satisfaction.
Thinking back to a lot of my relationships I see that first of all, while in the relationship sometimes I feel like I do not know myself well enough to even let the other person get to know me.
If I feel this way how then am I expected to appreciate learning about the other person?
Which is what relationships are all about.
A line stuck out to me while watching an episode of one of my favorite shows “How I met your mother”
Ted Mosby one of the characters said “in order to have a great relationship, you need three things, you need to be comfortable in your skin, you need to know yourself in and out and be ready to learn about the other person”
And I thought deeply about these words, and felt like I was missing out on a lot of things actually two of the things listed above.

Think about it, first point:
Comfortable in your skin:: If I feel under weight or over weight I will not be confident in myself or my ability, I have been reading this book (Good life) on health and it is amazing what a healthy body does to your confidence, and I am a huge testimony to that. These past three weeks, I took a pact to go to the gym every single day and I did, I worked out for 2hours everyday and my energy level skyrocketed. I became a lot more confident; I felt better in my skin and looked on to greater things I could accomplish with my body. I went out with friends after my work out regime and YES I felt awesome, I did not feel any sort of intimidation from the girl next to me, I felt BEAUTIFUL, because I am definitely comfortable in my skin. I also thought it very interesting when a girl I was hanging out with complained about how fat she is and I can tell you this girl is less than half my size.. When she said that, I laughed in my head and said to myself “wow, that was you some weeks back, but now I feel great” also in the same book, I read on how participating in self-talk is very healthy. Those who know me well know I love self-talk. I always take time to think about my actions and other things and talk to myself (sometimes from an objective POV) I never put myself down, but I always say I can do better and congratulate myself for what I have accomplished. Being comfortable in your skin is very important and you can accomplish this in many ways, getting massages, manicures, pedicures, working out, eating good, taking time to groom yourself etc.

Second Major point:
Knowing yourself.. When a guy wants to get to know you, he asks you about yourself and what do you say when you really think about it and you do not know yourself. You wake up each day and look at yourself like a stranger, you think back on some of your actions and wonder if that is really you. You are like a shifting persona -One with many personalities. The essence of a beautiful relationship is to know who you are, and if you do not know who you are you are sure to settle for less or worse, because you do not even know what it is exactly that you want. I had a nice chat with one of my girlfriends (Ms LB Martins aka LaLa Martins) and we were on the same track. I went to church that morning and felt good, and the thing on my mind was finding the right soul mate, tall dark handsome etc blah blah blah, now seems so dead to me. When I think about it, I have been searching for tall dark and handsome for the longest time and none have remained, they have all come and gone, so that had me thinking especially after hearing the sermon that morning. LB Martins and I came to conclusion that a man who fears God is the best type of man, regardless of his tallness, darkness or handsomeness, because at the end of the day, a man with the fear of God is very capable of loving you. I realized that I have been searching for Mr. Perfect in the wrong crowds and with the wrong people. So I am currently on a soul searching mission to put my priorities in order and know what it is exactly that I am looking for and I desire so I will not settle for less, and my doing that I know I will find NOT the perfect guy, but the “ideal” one.

Getting ready to know the other person:
Honestly this is the last and final stage, the other two can be changed around or done at the same time, but this stage in particular has to remain for the last stage, because to get to know a person you have to know yourself, what it is you have to offer the person, what the person has to offer you, what you see getting out of the relationship and if it should be pursued or not. Getting to know the other person is also dependent on if the other person really is ready to know you and knows himself or herself.

We have to learn selfishness to learn and appreciate selflessness,
Learn to care for you
Learn about you
Love yourself
Love learning about yourself
Reward yourself
And you will have no problem doing this to others since it is already a habit.
Be in a relationship with you first and know what it takes to be with you and then you can figure who you can be with. It is the nicest threesome ever:::: Me, Myself and I, ---> then Me, yourself and Us.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Invisible Lover

How can I love you and you do not even know who I am?
How can I say i love you and you do not even love me back?
How can I say I love you when I see you love someone else?
How dare i love you and still wish you all the best?

I love you day in day out
Holding my heart out in my hands
I love you from dusk till dawn
Praying one day you might see I am the one
I love you willingly and without
hoping one day you will notice me enough to say HI

You hurt me so much so deeply
but it makes me love you even more
You hurt me so much to the point of tears
but it turns me to you more

a sick love I do not understand
A sick love that blows my mind
A sick love that makes me long for your attention
A sick love that makes me want you MORE

How can you break my heart and still not know who I am?
How can you hurt me and still not know how I feel..
I am not crazy..
I am just an invisible woman in love with a fantasy
I am invisible, invisible to your love
I am invisible, invisible to your existence
and now I want to be invisible to your hurt... since i am invisible to your heart.

Invisible Love:: My Self created relationship with YOU, invisible love, touching my heart and soul, invisible love that is invisible to you

~*Words of a Lover:: Tayo Sophie*~

~*Heart to Haiti*~

Haiti...Oh Haiti...

I may not know you as home oh Haiti,
but I know you as "a" home

I may not know you as family oh Haiti,
but I know you as "a" family...

Haiti oh Haiti,
my heart goes out to you,
your grief, you pain, your mourning..

haiti oh haiti we sit here, donating our $5
but we do not know the real help you need.

Haiti oh haiti.. we sit here asking why oh why
while watching CNN but we do not know exactly how you feel..

The Media has classified you as one of the poorest Nations in the world
But you are not poor to me oh Haiti, for you are strong and I have faith in you oh Haiti..

How dare w call you poor when we do not even know the essence of happiness and joy?!
Haiti you are rich, rich in people, rich in help and many more...

I thank God for the help that has come to you and is on the way...
I wish I could be there to help you oh Haiti..

For I know how it feels to be in such a situation.
Haiti oh Haiti, cry not, worry not, this is a trial of strength

Haiti oh Haiti, this is your time to glorify HIM more...

Haiti oh Haiti, you are home to many I hold dear and I still call you friend..
Haiti oh Hait... my heart goes out to you...

Please people donate all you can at


or text yele to 501501
We may not be able to give the exact physical help,
but we can fund those who are able to provide
Please donate... God Bless..xoxo

~*Words of a lover:: Tayo Sophie*~

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Best but worst feeling

To say that you are in love with someone and to let it go just to see them happy is one of the worst and yet best feelings ever.

To be unable to think of what could have been or what might have been and look at what is and how happy it makes them is one of the best but worst feelings ever

To have someone mean so much to you and not know it till they are appreciated more by someone else is one of the best but worst feelings ever

To love a person and know they love you back but just let them be happy with someone who probably loves them more is one of the best and yet worst feelings ever

To know that the person you love is being loved by someone else is one of the worst feelings ever

But to know that the person you love is happy is one of the best feelings ever.

***Love till it hurts, and then it will probably hurt no more…

~* Words of a Lover:: TayoSophie *~

Saturday, December 26, 2009

::Nigerian Terrorist?

The word came to me in the middle of Christmas dinner, dec 25th 2009 and it really inspired me to get back to blogging.

A Nigerian terrorist? This is very interesting, my question now is why now? why ever.

Letter to Mr Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab:

Dear Sir,
I send this to you not as my judging point of view, but as a concern of a group of people you represent (Nigerians). Sir, the news reports that you had a good education (Engineering Student, UCL class of 2008) and also that you come from a well to do home, (father being in top positions in banks) so now our question is why?

We as a country, as a nation, as a people have suffered numerous stereotypes.
Is it not bad enough that we represent our Green, White, Green despite the judging looks of being a 419-er (fraudster) is it not bad enough that we eat our traditional foods (eba, jollof rice, etc) and still condone being stereotyped as barbaric and backwards. Is it not bad enough that we walk through security checks and get scrutinized for what we hold in our hands? (our green passports) so my question to you sir, is why NOW? why EVER?

Sir, we as a nation have MANY struggles, we struggle for petrol, electricity, food (in some regions), safety and at most we struggle for PEACE. Why would you want to add terrorism to a nation that suffers so much already?
I love my people because despite the struggles we have we are still considered one of the happiest people on earth. Please do bare in mind that with this you have not only brought grief to a nation, but grief and MORE STRUGGLES to an already grieving nation.

Mr Abdulmutallab, we will not ask you why you did it, because you like everyone else in the world is entitled to your opinion, BUT remember that when you make certain choices, you open room for judgment, not just judgement of YOUR character or your belief, but also judgement of US as a people. Sir i do not appreciate that I have to fight off one stereotype or another due issues like this, BUT adding terror to the list is not what i anticipated for a New Year.

I know many people now are working on the Light Up Nigeria scheme, since when did we think it was ok to blow up America?
I know many people sing in the morning congregation "Arise O compatriots, Nigeria's call, obey" since when was it ok, to obey Al Qaeda's call?

Dear Sir, granted you made your decisions and will have to live with it, but I do not appreciate living with it too, because I do not believe in terror. I was NEVER brought up with thoughts of terrorism and will not associate myself or like to claim you as one of my own since you have decided to create a stereotype FOR YOURSELF which i REFUSE to be a part of. Are we disowning you as Nigerian? ha! Maybe, just maybe, because we would like to retain our one good stereotype of being "the world's happiest people" and being totally acceptive of you will jeopardize this one good thing we have going for us.

My people, I have sent out the word, now please please please...
We need to stay strong, have faith and NOT just pray but take action.
Because I know my people, after 49 years of independence, we do not have too much to show
besides expatriates and illegal immigrants who live like Kings and Queens in our own nation, just to name a few.
But please rid yourself of the ignorance and STOP passing the blame on one ethnicity or the other.
NOONE cares if he was Hausa, Yoruba Ibo, whatever, all they see is that he is NIGERIAN.
It is very ignorant to say "Oh at least he is not Ibo"
Do you think an average American who probably doesn't even know that Africa is NOT a country cares if he is Hausa or Yoruba? News flash ::: THEY DON'T
all they care about it that he is NIGERIAN.
I hope this will be an eye-opener for us all to see that if one ethnicity falters WE are all to blame because WE are Nigeria! So if an Ibo man is not doing his job, NO it is not because he is IBO, how about u do yours and QUIT complaining.

The point of this is ....
We cannot keep praying and sitting on our butts about our problems!
the bible clearly says : Prayers without works is DEAD
so if all you do is pray and hope, brothers and sister I AM SORRY FOR US!
we need to take action.
Thank you all who already are taking action towards a better Nigeria.

With Love and Grace...

Tayo Sophie Orenuga..

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

...You will always be a part of me and I am part of you indefinitely....

She lives in fairy land with her thoughts, dreams, wishes and hopes.
Her imagination in fairy world, her reality in your world, with unhappiness and struggles.
Distance and time separate her destiny from her reality and her essence of being.
Inabilities and finance put her dreams on hold, but most of all. patience hurts her love and soul.

She sits in her confusion, waking up to it each and everyday, hoping for her rescue to come sooner.
Lost in her fairy world, she finds her escape, an escape that no one seems to understand.
She smiles, happy, knowing that one day this fairy world will become her reality..
Who needs this heart ache? who needs this pain?? who understands it but one..

Circles, circles, circles..
They say if you love something let it go, if it comes back then thats how you know..
How about never letting go and then it stays, because somethings just never come back.
She thinks letting you go is letting you go forever and she loves you too much to do that.
She wants you to stay, to stay with her forever, for you make up her fairy world,
you complete her empty spaces of unhappiness and confusion,
with you everything is alright, because you touch her heart just the way it deserves

...Words of a lover...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

~* Emotions are not friends*~

I get angry, I get sad, I get mad, now I'm glad...
confused? infused? feeling used? words misconstrued!

Am I lonely? am I sad? Am I any word that can exist?
I don't like this feeling, this roller coaster ride
This high for the day, low for a while.
This Happy now, Sad then!
This thoughts in my head about where I am
Where I want to be, Where I could be and where I am going!

I think the deeper question to emotions is Who are you?
Who am I you ask?
I would answer but I don't know
what defines my being in existence?
My looks? my talent? my gifts? my friends? my family?
What? Who?
You would like to know?
So would I....

I am looking deeper within searching for that truth!
That true me that lies within...Who? What? Where?

*~WORDS OF A THINKER:::maVeRickDeeva:::*~